Lately, I've been thinking a lot about growing up.
For the most part, I've been trying to figure out when the hell I did it?
Did it happen when I graduated high school almost 7 years ago? At that point, I thought it had, but I was most definitely wrong.
Did it happen when I got married in 2005? No, I can honestly say it didn't happen then (and despite what my husband thought, it hadn't happened to him yet, either).
I don't even think it happened when my first child was born when I was 21.
Getting divorced didn't speed up the process.
Even when I was living on my own, working a full time job, rasing a toddler, I was still not grown up.
Every day, I find myself sounding more and more like my own parents. I understand the thoughts and frustrations that were going through their minds when they had to discipline me... The same thoughts go through my head when my three year old will not listen or refuses to eat supper.
So, being months away from my 25th birthday, raising a three year old, a two month old, and essentially step-parenting a 16 year old boy... Am I finally grown up?
No. I'm not. But I think I've finally got it figured out.
I will never grow up.
Until the day we die, we will always have lessons to learn about life, love, existence... We will never stop needing to be reminded to be polite, use our manners, or to put others first... We won't always act responsibly, or react rationally... And as independent as we may feel at different points in our lives, we will always need someone else. We will never have it all figured out.
So, I am not grown up, yet... But I do believe I've finally hit that point in my life where the growing up process starts speeding up.
