Swine flu... Not a happy blog.

Earlier in the week I had thought about blogging jokingly that I'm not afraid of the swine flu because our house has already been thoroughly exposed to the complete pigs that are Aaron's friends, and we've all survived. But now, it has hit way too close to home (literally in it) to kid around about.

Last night I got a text from Kade's dad that he had a temperature of 102. This morning he was throwing up.

I picked him up at about 11:30, and he seemed to be feeling better. I took him to the doctor this afternoon just to be on the safe side.

The doctor is treating Kade for the H1N1 flu virus.

Lovely.

Luckily, he got on the meds early and the virus shouldn't hit him as severely.
But they didn't actually confirm anything with a test... the Doctor just said that Kaden has all of the symptoms, and that this H1N1 is all they have seen.
On one hand, I am glad that he is being proactive and treating Kade for the worst... But at the same time, I wish they would do the test, because I could be worrying for nothing.

I am a complete wreck over this.

I explained the situation to my OB, who recommended that I "isolate myself" from Kaden until he is well (his doctor said it would last about a week). She also called me in a prescription for Tamiflu, which is the same medicine that Kade is taking.

I am at a complete loss for what to do.
I feel guilty for being afraid of my son... But I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I got sick and something happened to the baby.

I can't stand the thought of just abandoning my 3 year old for a week when he's sick and needs me the most... But I can't stand the thought that by just being around Kade, I am knowingly putting my unborn child at risk. How do I tell my sweet, innocent, sick little boy no when he wants to cuddle with Mommy? But how do I openly let this virus so close to the baby?

I feel like I am being forced to play favorites. How do you choose one child over the other? All I have done since we got back from the doctor is cry and worry over this... and I know the stress isn't good for the baby... I just don't know what to do. How do you make the decision of what child to put first?

I really don't expect anyone to have the answer. It's a question no one should ever be faced with.

King "Tootin'Comment"

Right now, there are two major things that you really do not want to do in the presence of my son.
Those two things, in no particular order, are swear and pass gas. Obviously, this is not something I learned from experience, because I never ever do either of those things..

Yeah, ok. I'm not a very good liar.

On the swearing....

Anyone that has been my passenger can tell you, I tend to get road rage.

You would think hearing my three year old ask "What *bleepity-bleep* car, Mommy?" as I'm yelling at the driver in front of me, would cure me of that road rage, but nope, it hasn't yet.

"Oh Kade, don't say that! Mommy is just mad at the car in front of us." I've told him a hundred times.

I don't worry as much about him repeating my expletives as much as I want him to know and understand that I'm not yelling at him. He obviously doesn't think I'm yelling at him, and is more worried about the expletives.
"Only Mommy say it?" He'll ask me.

Oh, the power of conviction in a child's voice....

And on the passing gas...

I really think I need to take the kid for a hearing test... Because somehow, he can't hear the word "no," when spoken directly to him, but he can certainly hear the faintest sound of a flatus vibrating between two butt cheeks on a different level of the house with multiple tv's on.

Being three and a boy, he thinks farts are funny, and I inevitably make a comment every time I hear him do it. Recently, we were watching TV and he passed gas while sitting in my lap. "I farted on Mommy!" He giggled. I wasn't quite as amused, but at least it was just gas and nothing serious.

Just a couple days ago, Steve was downstairs sleeping, and Aaron was out using up the last of the fuel fumes in the car.
I was sitting on the floor upstairs playing with cars with Kade. I'm going to blame the fact that I'm heavily pregnant, here, but yes, I leaked air when I leaned forward to grab a different car. I thought I was safe - like I said, the big boys were either sleeping or not home... But no... No gas passing eludes Kade.
"You farting?" Kaden asked me, surprised.
"Yep, Kade... but don't tell Steve!" I held my finger to my lips in a "shh" gesture.
"Okay" he whispered back to me, smiling.
That was my lesson learned.

Aaron, on the other hand, is not as private about flatulance. Last night he proudly echoed that telltale motorboat sound off of a wooden chair across the entire house. Luckily, the sound traveled farther than the smell.

Kade looked at Aaron, looked at me, and then ratted him out. Pointing at Aaron, he told me "That guy tooted!"
A proud smirk spread across Aaron's face, and all I could think was

....and we're having another boy....

A bittersweet ramble

As much as I have groaned and complained about this pregnancy (especially nearing the end of it) I am honestly having some mixed feelings about only having 3 weeks left.

I've been going through all Kade's old baby clothes, getting things washed up. We (Steve) set up the crib this afternoon, and wheeled the bassinet into the living room... And I got a lot of my pre-pregnancy clothes out of storage and hung up in my closet.

Ah, yes, normal clothes. I nearly cried as I put jeans on hangers that actually don't have a stretchy waist band. I daydreamed of wearing shirts again that I haven't even seen since March.
Yes, I've been pregnant before.... I am well aware that my body won't just shrink back to it's normal size as soon as this little guy is born... but I am staying optimistic and hoping that it isn't too long before I can wear a tight chested, cleavage baring blouse and a pair of blue jeans that my butt doesn't get lost in.

Yes, it will definitely be nice to have my body and wardrobe back.
It'll be nice to do the dishes without inevitably getting my belly in the dishwater....
To eat a meal without having to worry about heartburn... To not have a pair of tiny feet semi-permanently lodged into my ribs... to not constantly have the urge to pee.
It'll even be nice to bend over and pick dirty, crusty boy socks up off the living room floor without difficulty (not that that was an easy task to begin with).

And it will undoubtedly be amazing to finally hold this little baby in my arms.

But as much of a relief as it will be to no longer be pregnant, yes, I am going to miss it.

I'll miss feeling those precious little baby kicks from the inside. I'll miss laying on the couch, watching in amazement as my unborn child causes my belly to ripple with just one hiccup. I'll miss using heartburn as an excuse to eat all the ice cream I want... And not having to worry about my figure.
I'll miss being the only one that gets to hold him, and I admit it, I'll miss the extra attention and sympathy I'm getting right now.

I'm also very nervous about having a newborn again. He is so much easier to take care of right now than he will be in 3 weeks.

I guess I really don't know where I'm going with this, just letting out these mixed emotions. I've been back and forth for a few weeks now on whether or not I'm actually ready to get this over with.

These additional hormones are definitely something I am not going to miss!