Swine flu... Not a happy blog.

Earlier in the week I had thought about blogging jokingly that I'm not afraid of the swine flu because our house has already been thoroughly exposed to the complete pigs that are Aaron's friends, and we've all survived. But now, it has hit way too close to home (literally in it) to kid around about.

Last night I got a text from Kade's dad that he had a temperature of 102. This morning he was throwing up.

I picked him up at about 11:30, and he seemed to be feeling better. I took him to the doctor this afternoon just to be on the safe side.

The doctor is treating Kade for the H1N1 flu virus.

Lovely.

Luckily, he got on the meds early and the virus shouldn't hit him as severely.
But they didn't actually confirm anything with a test... the Doctor just said that Kaden has all of the symptoms, and that this H1N1 is all they have seen.
On one hand, I am glad that he is being proactive and treating Kade for the worst... But at the same time, I wish they would do the test, because I could be worrying for nothing.

I am a complete wreck over this.

I explained the situation to my OB, who recommended that I "isolate myself" from Kaden until he is well (his doctor said it would last about a week). She also called me in a prescription for Tamiflu, which is the same medicine that Kade is taking.

I am at a complete loss for what to do.
I feel guilty for being afraid of my son... But I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I got sick and something happened to the baby.

I can't stand the thought of just abandoning my 3 year old for a week when he's sick and needs me the most... But I can't stand the thought that by just being around Kade, I am knowingly putting my unborn child at risk. How do I tell my sweet, innocent, sick little boy no when he wants to cuddle with Mommy? But how do I openly let this virus so close to the baby?

I feel like I am being forced to play favorites. How do you choose one child over the other? All I have done since we got back from the doctor is cry and worry over this... and I know the stress isn't good for the baby... I just don't know what to do. How do you make the decision of what child to put first?

I really don't expect anyone to have the answer. It's a question no one should ever be faced with.