4 days.

I had my 38 week appointment this morning.
It started out as they usually do - I peed in a cup and weighed myself, then the nurse took my blood pressure. I reported the results of my weigh-in (I'm up to about ten pounds total gained, now) and she recorded my pee test results in my chart (Yes, it's still positive). She went on about how close I'm getting, and my little belly.

Then she did something not so routine...

She warned me that my doctor is going to be out of town next week.

Oh God. Are you kidding me? My doctor is skipping town |thisclose| to my due date? Is that even legal? You've already given me a due date of Friday the 13th... I don't need any more bad luck! My doctor cannot leave town!

Well, it's not like I won't have a doctor there to deliver the baby if I do happen to go into labor while my doctor is out of town... The office is shared by two doctors - If one is busy or gone, the other doctor will fill in.

Now, I haven't met the other doctor yet, but she delivered my friend Michelle's youngest daughter.

Oh yeah, this other doctor also dated the father of the baby she could potentially be delivering. Granted, it was before I was even born... but wow... can you say awkward?

On with the appointment...
The nurse took me back to see the doctor, who did the typical normal stuff there... we listened to the baby's heartbeat and she measured my belly (which came in about 6 weeks smaller than it should be). She asked about my sleep (still not getting any), my heartburn (still constant), my bladder (yep, it's overworked) and my poop (not giving you details on that one).

Then she explained she would be out of town next week.

Yep. Got that. Which means that my appointment next week will be with the other doctor - Steve's old high school girlfriend. Fun times.

Then she did something really out of the ordinary.

She mentioned the "I" word... "induction." If I don't go into labor during the week that she is gone, my doctor wants to induce labor the day she comes back... Which is 4 days before my due date.

4 days.

Which means I went from having 15 days left, to only having 11. On the bright side, I won't be having a baby on Friday the 13th.... Instead, I will be getting my butt to the hospital at 6am on Monday, November 9th.

For some reason, this makes me incredibly nervous. As if the big belly and all the feet in my ribs wasn't enough of a reminder, it's like....

This is it...
It's scheduled...
No turning back now...

I'm having a baby.

I guess I'm a commitment-phobe.

I have a really bad habit of not keeping hobbies.

I like to think of myself as a fairly creative person - the main hobbies I tend to cycle through are writing, playing guitar, and scrapbooking (or another craft). Right now, obviously, I've been on a writing kick (which is a good thing).

But how long will it last? How long will I keep my blog up before I cycle off to another hobby? I have been eyeballing the acoustic sitting alone in the corner of the bedroom. I can remember a time when I picked that thing up every time I had a free minute to myself.

I have hundreds of dollars (at least) worth of scrapbooking paper, tools and other supplies just sitting collecting dust. And I've got an unfinished baby blanket that I started to crochet just a few weeks ago, that will probably never be finished before the baby gets here. A few years ago, I was going to start sewing. I actually made (and finished) a dress that I wore while I was pregnant with Kade. I spent money on material and thread. I have a nice sewing machine that sits in the box... I haven't done anything with it since I got it.

It's not just creative hobbies that I can't keep. I can't even make a full commitment to a silly facebook application. I play a game for a few weeks, then get tired of it and move on to another game.

Yeah, this "hobby cycling" is a pretty expensive habit... But I guess there are worse things I could be cycling through... and I know I'm not the only one with this issue...

Dad I am calling you out to share some of your "hobby cycling" in hopes of getting some more interaction going on here! Don't let me down!

Just call me Big Bird.

I have undoubtedly entered the severe "nesting" phase of my pregnancy.

No, I'm not in the yard gathering twigs and leaves to make a bed for the baby... though I have been picking twigs and leaves up off the floor that have gotten tracked in.

I have been cleaning everything and trying to get things ready for the baby.
And it's about damned time.

With just 17 days left until my due date, there is still so much left to get ready. We've got both the crib and bassinet put together and made up, and the little guy has clean clothes put away in his dresser.

But I still have to install the car seat... wash and sterilize the breast pumps and bottles... pack our bags for the hospital, get batteries for the camera... The only diapers in the house are the size of a newborn onesie. I've been racking my memory trying to remember how to take care of a brand new tiny little baby.

Oh yeah, and he still needs a name.

That's probably the biggie. What do babies need? Love - Check. Clothes - Check. A place to sleep - Check. Diapers - Well the hospital will send us home with some, so Check. Food - As long as he'll latch and nurse (Kade would not), then Check. And a name... I think we're close, but there's been no official decision. We'll get there, eventually. It's just a very permanent thing, and that makes it difficult to finalize.

So what have I been doing with my free time instead of packing bags and washing bottles if I am supposedly "nesting?"

Standing on a kitchen chair scrubbing ceiling fans with a toothbrush.

Don't ask me why... Yes, they needed it (most ceiling fans do) but what business do I have, as pregnant as I am, doing it, right? I did the same thing with Kade, except then I was on my hands and knees scrubbing the hardwood floor with the toothbrush.

I guess I really don't have an answer for why I suddenly feel it needs done, but my next project is going to be the lamp in this living room... and if Aaron would let me, I'd use a bulk package of toothbrushes on his entire bedroom... but I don't see him letting me do that! lol

I'd rather be pissed off than pissed on.

Toilets are disgusting things - I think most people would agree with me.

It doesn't matter if you keep your porcelain throne sparkling clean, it's still going to be disgusting. That can hardly be disputed with what goes into them every day.

I can use a public restroom (I really have no choice anymore) although I am pretty picky about it. What I cannot do, is pee in an unflushed stool. Being the only girl in the house, and especially with all the traffic of 16 year old boys in and out, I have serious issues with our toilet. You probably would too, if you were around to hear how often Aaron announces "Man, I gotta take a major poop."

Fortunately, it seems the boys were pre-trained to make sure the seat gets put back down. Unfortunately, it seems that somewhere between relieving themselves and lowering the seat, they forget to flush.

And I can't pee on someone else's pee. I can't even pee on my own pee.

The thought of sitting down to relieve myself with the possibility that whatever is in the toilet to begin with might splash back up on me completely and totally disgusts me.

I know, it's probably a very far fetched thought, and besides that, I know my own pee could very well splash back up mid-stream... But I feel much better knowing that the toilet's been flushed before I use it, so if it looks like there might be pee in it, I've gotta flush it first.

I've heard before that there are actually more germs behind your fingernails than the toilet, but seeing as how I don't stick my fingers up my butt, I refuse to believe it.

One size fits some

This afternoon I started going through Kade's clothes as I moved them out of the dresser downstairs and into the dresser upstairs in his room. I am fairly certain we're done with the shorts and tank tops for this season!

As I sorted pants into piles of 2T and 3T, all I could think was that whoever came up with sizing for these clothes obviously has no children of their own.

The 2T's are too small for Kade, while the 3T's are still a bit too big. He turned 3 a month ago. Why are there no in between sizes? And why do they go by years? On this note, what is the difference between clothing sized 24 months, and 2T?

When it comes to size, not all kids are created equal.

It's not just the 2, 3, 4 and 5T sizes either. Baby clothes are sized by months - and I really don't understand that. The 0-3 month size drives me especially nuts.

How do they expect a newborn baby to fit in the same size onesie that a 3 month old baby would wear? Babies grow so fast... And It's become pretty common knowledge that babies outgrow 0-3 month sized clothes long before they turn 3 months old. So why haven't the sizes been updated to go by weight instead of months?

I'm just glad they don't size bra's by age - I would have been wearing a size 20 when I was 12... and God knows I don't want to know how old my boobs would be right now!

Battle of the sexes

Being a woman completely and totally sucks.

It wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the hormones. Quite understandably, mine have been completely out of control lately... and I keep thinking thank God I only have a few weeks left of this... but in reality - it never ends.

When I finally have this baby and finish dealing with all of these crazy pregnancy hormones, I'm going to have to deal with postpartum hormones, And God only knows how long that will last.

When that's all over with, there are the "that time of the month" hormones. Fantastic.

And it doesn't even end there. Later, we women get to experience the magic of menopausal hormones... These are the hormones that cause women to sweat more (and grow more facial hair) than a teenage boy.

There is no end in sight. The hormones will always be there, just at different times and in different qualities.

Some may argue that men are worse off than women, because a woman's issues come once a month, while men tend to have erections multiple times a day...
But I think it would be a lot easier for a man to hide a rise in his pants than for a woman to hide a hormonal meltdown, complete with make-up streaked cheeks, puffy eyes and the sniffles.

More proof to my point -
There are multiple advertisements on TV for pills that can help cause or enhance an erection, but none to cure it... Where as there are multiple advertisements for pills that cure the symptoms that ail women on a monthly basis... and there's just no market for a little blue pill that causes a woman to turn into a sappy, crabby, cranky, moody, bitch....

If there was, I could make a fortune bottling and selling my own hormones right now. =/

Swine flu... Not a happy blog.

Earlier in the week I had thought about blogging jokingly that I'm not afraid of the swine flu because our house has already been thoroughly exposed to the complete pigs that are Aaron's friends, and we've all survived. But now, it has hit way too close to home (literally in it) to kid around about.

Last night I got a text from Kade's dad that he had a temperature of 102. This morning he was throwing up.

I picked him up at about 11:30, and he seemed to be feeling better. I took him to the doctor this afternoon just to be on the safe side.

The doctor is treating Kade for the H1N1 flu virus.

Lovely.

Luckily, he got on the meds early and the virus shouldn't hit him as severely.
But they didn't actually confirm anything with a test... the Doctor just said that Kaden has all of the symptoms, and that this H1N1 is all they have seen.
On one hand, I am glad that he is being proactive and treating Kade for the worst... But at the same time, I wish they would do the test, because I could be worrying for nothing.

I am a complete wreck over this.

I explained the situation to my OB, who recommended that I "isolate myself" from Kaden until he is well (his doctor said it would last about a week). She also called me in a prescription for Tamiflu, which is the same medicine that Kade is taking.

I am at a complete loss for what to do.
I feel guilty for being afraid of my son... But I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I got sick and something happened to the baby.

I can't stand the thought of just abandoning my 3 year old for a week when he's sick and needs me the most... But I can't stand the thought that by just being around Kade, I am knowingly putting my unborn child at risk. How do I tell my sweet, innocent, sick little boy no when he wants to cuddle with Mommy? But how do I openly let this virus so close to the baby?

I feel like I am being forced to play favorites. How do you choose one child over the other? All I have done since we got back from the doctor is cry and worry over this... and I know the stress isn't good for the baby... I just don't know what to do. How do you make the decision of what child to put first?

I really don't expect anyone to have the answer. It's a question no one should ever be faced with.

King "Tootin'Comment"

Right now, there are two major things that you really do not want to do in the presence of my son.
Those two things, in no particular order, are swear and pass gas. Obviously, this is not something I learned from experience, because I never ever do either of those things..

Yeah, ok. I'm not a very good liar.

On the swearing....

Anyone that has been my passenger can tell you, I tend to get road rage.

You would think hearing my three year old ask "What *bleepity-bleep* car, Mommy?" as I'm yelling at the driver in front of me, would cure me of that road rage, but nope, it hasn't yet.

"Oh Kade, don't say that! Mommy is just mad at the car in front of us." I've told him a hundred times.

I don't worry as much about him repeating my expletives as much as I want him to know and understand that I'm not yelling at him. He obviously doesn't think I'm yelling at him, and is more worried about the expletives.
"Only Mommy say it?" He'll ask me.

Oh, the power of conviction in a child's voice....

And on the passing gas...

I really think I need to take the kid for a hearing test... Because somehow, he can't hear the word "no," when spoken directly to him, but he can certainly hear the faintest sound of a flatus vibrating between two butt cheeks on a different level of the house with multiple tv's on.

Being three and a boy, he thinks farts are funny, and I inevitably make a comment every time I hear him do it. Recently, we were watching TV and he passed gas while sitting in my lap. "I farted on Mommy!" He giggled. I wasn't quite as amused, but at least it was just gas and nothing serious.

Just a couple days ago, Steve was downstairs sleeping, and Aaron was out using up the last of the fuel fumes in the car.
I was sitting on the floor upstairs playing with cars with Kade. I'm going to blame the fact that I'm heavily pregnant, here, but yes, I leaked air when I leaned forward to grab a different car. I thought I was safe - like I said, the big boys were either sleeping or not home... But no... No gas passing eludes Kade.
"You farting?" Kaden asked me, surprised.
"Yep, Kade... but don't tell Steve!" I held my finger to my lips in a "shh" gesture.
"Okay" he whispered back to me, smiling.
That was my lesson learned.

Aaron, on the other hand, is not as private about flatulance. Last night he proudly echoed that telltale motorboat sound off of a wooden chair across the entire house. Luckily, the sound traveled farther than the smell.

Kade looked at Aaron, looked at me, and then ratted him out. Pointing at Aaron, he told me "That guy tooted!"
A proud smirk spread across Aaron's face, and all I could think was

....and we're having another boy....

A bittersweet ramble

As much as I have groaned and complained about this pregnancy (especially nearing the end of it) I am honestly having some mixed feelings about only having 3 weeks left.

I've been going through all Kade's old baby clothes, getting things washed up. We (Steve) set up the crib this afternoon, and wheeled the bassinet into the living room... And I got a lot of my pre-pregnancy clothes out of storage and hung up in my closet.

Ah, yes, normal clothes. I nearly cried as I put jeans on hangers that actually don't have a stretchy waist band. I daydreamed of wearing shirts again that I haven't even seen since March.
Yes, I've been pregnant before.... I am well aware that my body won't just shrink back to it's normal size as soon as this little guy is born... but I am staying optimistic and hoping that it isn't too long before I can wear a tight chested, cleavage baring blouse and a pair of blue jeans that my butt doesn't get lost in.

Yes, it will definitely be nice to have my body and wardrobe back.
It'll be nice to do the dishes without inevitably getting my belly in the dishwater....
To eat a meal without having to worry about heartburn... To not have a pair of tiny feet semi-permanently lodged into my ribs... to not constantly have the urge to pee.
It'll even be nice to bend over and pick dirty, crusty boy socks up off the living room floor without difficulty (not that that was an easy task to begin with).

And it will undoubtedly be amazing to finally hold this little baby in my arms.

But as much of a relief as it will be to no longer be pregnant, yes, I am going to miss it.

I'll miss feeling those precious little baby kicks from the inside. I'll miss laying on the couch, watching in amazement as my unborn child causes my belly to ripple with just one hiccup. I'll miss using heartburn as an excuse to eat all the ice cream I want... And not having to worry about my figure.
I'll miss being the only one that gets to hold him, and I admit it, I'll miss the extra attention and sympathy I'm getting right now.

I'm also very nervous about having a newborn again. He is so much easier to take care of right now than he will be in 3 weeks.

I guess I really don't know where I'm going with this, just letting out these mixed emotions. I've been back and forth for a few weeks now on whether or not I'm actually ready to get this over with.

These additional hormones are definitely something I am not going to miss!

My little boogie man

Fall is most certainly here full force, and the evidence of this is everywhere.

This afternoon I opened up the curtains to let in some sunshine, and immediately I noticed the window was full of those ugly, smelly, yellow lady bugs. Dried, crunched up leaves are being tracked through the house at a rate the vacuum can't keep up with. The center aisle at Wal-Mart has been turned into a big rack of chocolate chips, cupcake frosting, shortening and other baking goods, and there are scarecrows and pumpkins being displayed on front porches all over town. All of these things make it clear that Fall is here, but there is one more telltale sign that lets me know the weather is changing over.

I can't keep my three year old's finger out of his nose.

My poor little boy has a non-stop boogery nose through most of the cold weather months. It doesn't matter how many times I have him blow his nose (he's gotten quite good at it) or how often I stick a Q-tip up there (with a couple drops of little noses saline), I obviously never get it all cleared out for him, because he's constantly digging for gold. We'll blow his nose, he'll run and play for 5 minutes, and the next time I see him, he's got snot spread clear across his cheek, all over his shirt sleeve, and of course, underneath his fingernails.

The problem is not just that his nostrils are constantly plugged with his finger. He's picked up the nasty habit of eating it, too. I know, I know... what three year old doesn't pick their nose and eat it? But it's incredibly frustrating. And disgusting. And probably one of the reasons why his colds never go away.

The other day I caught him with his finger in his nose, and I quickly pulled his hand away from his face. "Don't pick your nose!" I told him for the umpteenth time. He looked at me, grinned, and stuck his snot-covered finger in his mouth.
"Kaden, that's gross!" I informed him.
"It's not gross, it's good!" He answered confidently.

I really wish someone could tell me that it does get better... but I'm quickly learning that, at least in boys, grossness increases with age. =/

Pee brain

Today I am 36 weeks and 3 days pregnant. For those of you who don't know pregnancy by weeks, I have about three and a half weeks to go until my due date.

I am already miserable, and it's only going to get worse. My belly button looks like my Grandma Jordan puckering up to give me a kiss when she doesn't have her teeth in. Water gives me heartburn. There's not a thing that doesn't annoy me... If you put finger holes in my boobs, I'm fairly certain you could successfully use them to score a perfect 300 in a bowling tournament... And I pee constantly.

Steve has been getting on to Aaron about the water he's wasting during his multiple hour long showers, and I can't help but feel a little guilty about all the water I've been literally flushing down the toilet.

I swear, I must pee at least 50 times a day. Everything I do makes me have to pee. Any time I stand up, I have to pee. Walking across the room makes me have to pee. And by the time I get across the house to the bathroom, go pee, walk back and sit back down, yes, I have to pee again.

On one hand, I can't believe how quick this pregnancy has gone... and on the other, it feels like it will never end... But, I know that eventually, it will end... And I know it won't be long before this baby is off of my bladder and into my arms =)

I think I broke my funny bone.

When I first started this blog this time last year, I had great expectations.
I imagined a throng of fans, people all over the world just waiting at their computer for my next blog, because they were that anxious to read about the quirky new habit my son picked up, my latest weekend out, or whatever random thing crossed my mind.

In reality, the only people reading my blog were people that were already my friends on Myspace.

Ouch.

I guess on the bright side, I was getting comments and replies about how much my friends and family enjoyed reading my blogs and how funny I was, but it just wasn't enough. I got discouraged, and I was ready to give up. I couldn't think of funny things to write about anymore... things in my life just didn't seem interesting enough for me to expect people to take 7 minutes to sit down and read about them. The blogging tapered off, and eventually stopped completely. You can see from the archive on this blog, I haven't written since January.

It was about the time that my blogging became less frequent that I also met Steve.
I guess I could blame him for my not blogging, but that wouldn't be very fair! Especially considering he's asked me on multiple occasions why I don't blog anymore. He has also told me once or twice that I've lost my sense of humor - Mind you, he came to this conclusion based solely on the fact that I don't laugh at things on TV that crack him up, and I don't always get his jokes....

But what if he's right? What if I've lost my sense of humor? What if I'm not funny anymore? I have almost been afraid to start blogging again because of this. I have read through some of the things I wrote last year, and not to brag on myself, but yes... I was funny (part of the time). There are clever little quips that I've re-read multiple times simply because I can't believe those were my words. I am definitely not that funny anymore.

Hopefully I'm just a little out of practice, and after a few boring blogs (like this one) I'll find my niche again.... And hopefully, you don't give up on me before then =/